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Skylar's Story
It was early April, and Skylar came down with flu-like symptoms, so Sharise kept her home from preschool. It didn't seem anything to be concerned about. But that night, Skylar doubled over in pain and couldn't walk. Sharise took her to West Hills Medical Centre. At the time, I was away at a pro-celebrity car race. When I returned to the hotel, I got a message to call a friend. Skylar was rushed into the emergency room and opened up. The doctors thought her appendix had ruptured, but it hadn't. The problem was in an area behind her stomach, where they removed a tumor. The doctors told us that Skylar needed to be transferred to Children's Hospital in Los Angeles, where they could make sure they had gotten all the fragments of the tumour, which had ruptured around her abdomen. All Sharise and I could tell her was, "Soon, honey, you can go home."
A CAT scan indicated tumors on both kidneys; it looked bad. Later that week doctors operated to remove the tumours, but after they opened her up, they decided to leave everything intact and try saving the kidneys and shrinking the tumours using chemo and radiation. But Skylar remained in a lot of pain. Within a month, despite the treatments, a tumour on her right kidney that would eventually grow to 6 1/2 pounds began pushing her abdomen against her lungs, making it hard for her to breathe.
At one point, Skylar said, "Daddy, I'm never going home, am I?" I said, "Of course you are." Sharise and I never gave up hope. We brought Skylar's dance clothes and toys to the hospital. We watched videos and sang songs. It was hard, but she recovered from the operation. Finally, even though she was getting shots of morphine for the pain, the doctors decided she could go home and do chemo as an outpatient.
We brought Skylar to Sharise's house at the end of May. It was the first time in more than a month that she was in her own bedroom, but her stomach hurt constantly. After four days we took her back to the hospital. Doctors found she had a bowel obstruction from the previous surgery---some scar tissue had formed on her intestines and twisted them---and Skylar had her third operation within two months. She said to Sharise, "Mommy, I don't want to die." We reassured her, telling her, "You're going to go to sleep for a little bit, and when you wake up, Mommy & Daddy will be right here." But inside we were really scared.
Following
the operation, she whimpered, "Dad, please don't let them
cut me anymore." What do you tell a child? Skylar's tears ripped
at my heart. Meanwhile, her breathing got worse, a fast panting that
resulted
from the right kidney's big tumour pressing against her lungs. Her colour
was bad. You could actually see bones through her skin. I hated telling
her she needed another operation, but there wasn't a choice. The surgeons
wanted to remove the right kidney. When they opened her up several days
later, they found the cancer had spread to her liver and intestines and
the muscles in her back. Removing the monstrous tumour from the right
kidney would have caused so much bleeding, Skylar would have died on
the table.
So the surgeon patched her up and hoped for a miracle. |
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About a week later, on June 3, Skylar stopped breathing. The doctors
put her on a respirator and gave her medication that essentially paralysed
her so that she wouldn't expend unnecessary energy. Over the next two weeks
she continued to fight. I don't know how. Throughout the ordeal, I've wondered
why this happened to someone who never got a chance to live. I've nearly
destroyed myself asking if she was being punished for something I'd done.
I've blamed myself because cancer runs on my mother's side of the family.
When I search for a reason for Skylar's death, it's as if she has opened
my eyes to all the suffering other children and their parents are going
through. |
On July 26, Skylar underwent an operation to remove the tumour that had overtaken her body. The doctors explained it was extremely risky, but if she was going to have any chance at beating the cancer, this was it. I had no idea if I was saying goodbye forever. Ten hours later the doctors returned. They had removed the 6 1/2-pound tumour, the size of a football, and had also taken out her right kidney, half her liver, part of her diaphragm, a piece of muscle in her back and the tumour inside her left kidney. She eventually regained consciousness, but about a week later she underwent another operation to deal with a possible infection from the previous surgery. After that, she got worse. Her remaining kidney wasn't working well, and her lungs began failing. The doctors told us she was slipping away. We called our families and told them it was time to say goodbye. Skylar was on painkillers and remained unconscious. I knew she could hear me, though, so before I left that night, I told her I loved her.
I had just gotten home when Sharise called. "Her vital signs are dropping," she said. "You'd better come back." I just started crying. Skylar was dying. It took a while for me to get to the hospital. In the meantime, Sharise sat by Skylar's side as "Skylar's Song" played in the background. Finally, Sharise told her, "Don't be scared, sweetie. Go to sleep now. It's all right." Minutes later, Skylar passed away.
I got to the hospital 10 minutes after she died. Her little body lay on the bed. I told myself that at least she wasn't in pain anymore, but I've never experienced anything as sad as being in that room. On Aug.18, Skylar was buried in a tiny pink casket. At the service, we celebrated her life. Since then, I have gone to the cemetery often. I've been sleeping with the blanket Skylar died in because it still smells like her. Nothing's changed at home---her room is exactly the same. But there are too many painful memories, so in November I'm moving to Las Vegas. Immediately after the funeral, I went out of town, running away from reality. But then I couldn't run anymore. I returned to L.A. and started talking to a therapist who has really helped me deal with grieving. Sometimes I think Skylar is still here, and I think I'm insane. But my therapist says that's normal. It's part of letting go and the healing process. If you've never gone through this, it's hard to know what you're supposed to feel. I think of Skylar every day. I know someday the loss won't hurt as much as it does now.
But I loved Skylar very much, and that will never go away. ~Vince Neil
Copied from The Skylar Neil
Memorial Foundation Website,
told by her father, Vince Neil
The Skylar Neil Memorial Fund
5224 Dana Springs Way
Las Vegas, NV 89130
A big brother's love (A few words from Neil Wharton)
"I was talking to Patti at Badbones (www.badbones.com)
and she asked if I was going to the Cruefest thing. And I said "the
what?" and she told me all about it. When I found out it was for
Skylar's foundation how could I not go? I was lucky enough to get a
hold of Shali and Tom and they asked if I would co-host. How could I
pass up an opportunity like that?"
"I'll be involved as long as
the event runs. I love this event, and all the Crueheads that attend.
Everything about the day was great. I love everyone's stories and just
meeting the Motley Fans. That right there makes it worth it. Then you
add in the funds going to the Skylar foundation; there's no way I
couldn't go and show my support."
Written For Skylar, By Neil Wharton
If I had a chance to start again, We would be really close friends
Talk and chat about the world, Listen to the songs of birds
Time is short, not for very long, I tried to get close
But something was wrong, A feeling deep inside
So strong its hard to hide, The sorrow and pain that i feel
Reality is hard to grip, When this is so real
I didn't know what to do, When I felt the loss of you
So many emotions rushed to my head, I think of the things we never said
These passed days have turned me blue,
You'll never know how much i loved you
They took you away from me, Before I had a chance to see
The things i feel, This Pain is so real
Why you, Why me, Best things in life are never free
But why did you have to pay, when all you wanted to do was play?
For Cruefest Hollywood : www.cruefest.com
For Northshore Cruefest : www.northshore.cruefest.com
For OzCruefest : www.ozcruefest.com
But Still Want To Help Out
Here's How...
(Clicking this CRUEFEST button sends you to the Cruefest Hollywood Donation Page)
All Money Collected Goes Directly To:
The Skylar Neil Memorial Fund
For More Information, Contact CrueFest Info E-Mail
info@cruefest.com
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